When blue hippo dives with no stream...
When blue hippo, the official broadcast mascot for a broadband service provider dives into a stream with no water, I believe that you would get what we all call streamyx. Yes, you heard me. I said streamyx. However, please be informed that the use of the word streamyx within this context is not as a noun or a name for a particular service, but instead a verb. This is a phenomenon, yes indeed a phenomenon that has spread throughout the nation and engulfed the people in a frenzy of surfing the internet at broadband speed. This phenomenon provides users with a connection speed of up to 100 Mbs. Let me explain that, it's 100 Mega BITS per second. Wow! Isn't that fantastic compared to the likes of countries like Indonesia, the Philipines and Thailand. Certainly, it is a humoungous leap from the ages of the traditional agriculture based lifestyle that the nation run on a few decades ago.
But one must remember, every phenomenon comes with pros and cons. Well, in the previous paragraph, I have said just about the one and only statement that a protagonist could say about this new phenomenon that has swept the nation by storm. But why do I call it a phenomenon? One: it has pros and cons. Two: it is the "thing" you must have to enjoy entertainment such as online gaming and chatting with friends. Three: it is a social status to have this "fabulous" streamyx. Four: everyone wants it! Five: It SUCKS BIG TIME!
Firstly, I will put a list of a few rants that I have heard and/or experienced with streamyx. 1. Delay in installation service. 2. Connection speed is not up to the speed which is stated in the brochure (not ISO qualified). 3. Hardware provided often faulty or not functional at all. 4. Service break downs occur frequently (it almost seems they time them). 5. It's only 100 Megabits per second!
This phenomenon of streamyx is such a drag sometimes that one gets tired of constant complaints that one hear's from family and friends. Firstly, let's talk about the installation service provided. Whenever you sign up for broadband through any company, you will have to wait a certain period of time. That is very acceptable in any service that is provided on a household basis. However, the problem here is that sometimes those service technicians often "forget" or "misplace" your service order and you end up waiting for days, not to mention weeks at times before you finally hear the ring on your doorbell before you open the door to the technician, only to greet him with dark faces as if he owed you a million bucks and hadn't payed in a millenium. The best part is, the technician is unable to "remember" where be "misplaced" or so innocently "forgot" where he put the form unless you start bugging them like a swarm of ravenous mosquitos that would poke each and every inch and millimeter of their skin until you have sucked up every milliliter of blood inside their bodies, leaving them only with their skin and bones. But, did you know you have to actually pay them to be the forgetful, irresponsible brats they are? Each and every phone call is charged and billed to your monthly calls statement. I just wish they were so industrious in making money rather than collecting it!
Have you ever heard of a braggart? Yes, those people that are like N-A-T-O( No Action, Talk Only). Well, the service is a little bit better compared to those people. It's bad enough that they only provide 100 Megabits per second(I'll explain later on why it's considered sooo SLOW!) as their maximum download rate and merely a 50 Megabits per second upload rate, but they have to go and push it further as to only providing as low as only 30% of their prestated connection speed in some areas. Did you know, there is actually a program that can help you measure the amount of connection speed you get on the streamyx website itself? What is this? It's totally negative publicity! They should be given an award for "slapping your own face". In addition to that, at times people are unable to access the internet at all. Or, they speed is so slow that people cry, "Where's my dial-up? This connection is prehistoric man! My snail mail would get there faster!"
Ah, now to the hardware. Finally, we get to see some nice gadjets and little cute thingamajigs (wtf?). I seriously don't see how one could refer to them as cute. They break so easily. My 3-year-old cousin could swallow some of those things. "This modem has a life of it's own. It can switch itself on and off! Wow, cool. It's AI (Annoying idiots)." The connection line leaks into the phone line. Sometimes, I hear the sound of like a screeching banshee when I'm trying to have a friendly conversation on the phone. The ADSL disconnects when you receive any incomming calls. Hey, I'm not making this up. It really happens! I've had problems with every single peice of hardware that they have provided to me. I even pay rental for it, damnit! That's why I always pay late (Muahahahahahaha).
In some instances, when your life and death might depend on the usage of the internet; when you forgot to print your notes out but they are in your gmail; when you want to book a last minute ticket for a vacation through online reservation; when a business associate can only communicate through IM or e-mail; when research is just so limited in the library; when your exams are tomorrow and they answers are online =p; when you want to chat with your boyfriend/girlfriend desperately and your phone has no credit and your parents have grounded you from using the house phone; when you just want to relax and chat with a few friends on msn; when you had a very bad day and just want to trash people on your blog to release your anger; when you just have nothing better to do but go online (get a life! just kidding XD) and a thousand other important reason, that internet connection just has to break down! Everyone who a streamyx account has to go through this tedious process of turning into a ravenous mosquito that will bla bla bla...every now and then to bug those technical service people that their connection is down; can't log in; go get a life; remote computer not responding, bla bla bla... You want that? Hey, I pay for air time not down time!
Earlier, I said that I would explain why 100 Megabits per second is so lame! Well, compare a 100 Megabyte connection to ours. How many times faster? By golly, that's 8 times faster! How much? Same price?!?!?! OMG! Hey, even the Aussies are getting twice our speed at half the price! I won't even mention the European countries of the US for that case. I mean, do I seriously have to? Do I have to let you know that they can get up to 300 Megabytes per second on broadband? Do I? Do I have to mention that they are using fibre optic cables while we're still using cable lines that rats like to chew on?
With this level of service. It looks like streamyx is just another phenomenon to me. You want to call it a service?
You can read this post again.
1 comment:
Yep, we all had our share of useless crappy streamyx connections!
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