A wait worth while
The thunderstorm carries on inside my mind and at the same time plagueing me with dreams while stripping me from getting a good night's sleep. I have a feeling that it is not only the reality of the melodromatic state of the holidays, but also through further intervention from some emotional renditions of the mind. Or perhaps it is my heart that is starting to bleed?
The thousands of knives that appear before me in reality appear as just another day to deal with. However, the intensity of my psyche just cannot be relinquished as easily as reality can. I am dealing not with foes or friends, but something that is largely impossible to overcome: myself. It is a battle of wits against wits, and both equal in strength and intellect. Eventually, the prevailing side would be rid of its adversary. However, it is never that simple. In my mind there might be such a division of forces, but in existance those two forces are part of a living being. I cannot survive without either one of them. Basically, I need both parts to survive. If not, there should be an unbalance in the structure of my physicality and this is not acceptable.
Though, my dreams are not of a psychotic magnitude and they will not render me insane beyond rescue. Although there might be higher levels of anxiety, leading to a more agitated posture throughout the entire period. Though, these dreams always serve to illuminate certain parts of me that have been secluded for too long a time. Alas, the illumination is always of such a sudden nature that it would almost bring me to a manic episode - starting the moment that I awake.
This time, my dreams told a story of something beyond friendship. A dear feeling and tale for the heartbroken people of the world. It would have been wonderful, but for the fact that it did not serve to a happy ending. I suppose nothing really ends "happily ever after", but just goes on to ends that impact the lives of many. A summary of them would never be able to dictate the full meaning of the experience, for it would just reveal a mere plot, but not the messages or hidden meanings that were embeded inside. A sad case and a frustrating holocaust to endure.
For friendship is dear
But there is something dearer
That I desire
For a lifetime
But just for the moment
I endure the wait
To search the streets
For one that suits
A moment to change
For a lifetime's reward
A wait worth while
No comments:
Post a Comment