it is likely that this is the hardest ever memory, where there is weight beyond my comprehension, that i have had to let go. Or maybe i'm not even letting go of it because i make a move towards it and then two steps back everyday.
but the coming memories and dreams of each particular action bear no boundaries on my own conscience. it is like an imagination of a dream come through, yet there is alway an end when the time comes. though it just seems like it never starts, but i see a relationship between two items that had already fully formed. perhaps those are the fragments which make up dreams that are stored in my mind. i like through them for purposes mainly unknown to myself. and do i have a dream for them? yes, i do. many and many more to come. but the greater unknown lies between me and and step forward.
when i think about it, i never really did take a step forward. now, i am thinking of how i could have. maybe i have started to learn from my past, and maybe it is a form of moving on. but nonetheless memories haunt me less but more and more they bestow onto me a feeling of chance and new future. a new mode, a new way of seeing things. i can't be thankful enough for these changes that i am experiencing, by who's virtue i have no idea, but i am thankful beyond words.
and to think back, it starts just like two people meeting and saying hello. perhaps there are other coincidences that let thinks spice up to become enough for one to ponder over through a daily process. and yet once things have been set in motion, the heart becomes wary of things for that other, and there seem to be invisible eyes watching from every corner and a new barrier of embarassment and shyness forms between one and another. it seemed all so normal, but then something happened.
indeed, something happened, and that is what changed everything.
i fell in love...
words of a hopeless romantic.
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