Talk to an adult about what parents are, they'll probably say that we're the kid's parents, you know.
Talk to adolescents about what parents are, they'll probably say:"They're parents. What the hell else do i need to explain more?"
"Errr...well...they take care of us, you know...and all that..."
But dig a little deeper...
"Yeah, they give you all that crap about how they care...."
Hmm...the problem is, parents and children almost always have a one way relationship: parents rule over kids. Also, the views heard by the public are mostly what the parents have to say, and unfortunately also what the parents want to hear. Why? Because they're all afraid of being bad parents. True or false? Go ask your dad or mum what he/she wants for you.
However, what parents really want for you and what parents do to show you those ideas aren't always coherent, especially to the adolescent. Why?
I'll give you an example of how my parents tell me what they want.
"Hey, how come your results are so crappy? If they can get an A, why can't you?"
That's my dad talking. Yes, I am Chinese and YES I live in Asia. And you might well know and even have experienced how RESULT orientated parents can be in Asia. Everything counts on those A's and those C's are probably crap, even though they are the average grades. You see there, there's already a form of caring pressure. Let me illustrate:
There are grades from the highest A to the lowest F. In between you'll find the B, C, D and E. Well, from my case, and most other cases, parents seem to forget that the C, D, E and F exist. They just group them into one category which i will call "CRAP". In the end, there's only three existing categories: A, B and CRAP. So, to get an A you're pressed to score among the 10 highest percentiles of students. To score a B you're pressed to score among the 20 highest percentiles of students. What happened to the other 80% of students? Are they all really that CRAP? I don't think so.
But, parents want the BEST for you and thus they push the idea that the other 80% of people are just CRAP, and if you fall into that category: they'll wrench you back up with stick beating from behind you - metaphorically but still real enough. The point is, they care so much they'll just push up the pressure meter so high that it tends to choke you all the way up. The best part is, you're expected to keep up your outstanding results. To explain why we should keep up those perfect results, they have a perfect explanation: it's only natural. Great.
Another tactic they'll use against you is this:
"I'm so disappointed in you. Are you stupid or something?" *Takes out cane*
Okay, the caning is long gone because I'm already 21-years-old for friggin's sake. But that was back when I was a kid. And when I'm a kid, I am prepared to listen to what my parents say. When they say I'm stupid i'm thinking that I really must be stupid. Can I go and fail all my subjects now? The answer is a big, fat NO!
Isn't it great how they show how much they care? It's weird reverse psychology like how the military use. Hmm..but in there you're just conscripts that'll die anytime the country wants you to. But as a child, do we play the same roles? In this society, i guess i pretty much do.
Fine, I'm a soldier that's been commanded to infiltrate the United States to...study. The weird part is, why do i study. I study for myself. And why was i doing all that torture for? For my parents.
Well that proves it:
1) I live my life for my parents.
2) I study for myself.
When am I supposed to start living for myself?
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