when i peer beyond the sensual alure that comes along with a relationship, i find myself wondering why i felt in those peculiar times. It seems that i was looking for something less, but i wanted more of something else.
Past the allure that there is in a partner, i find myself demystifying items into terms of rational thought. Am i turning into a machine? I feel that all i want is to just be held and staying that way gives me a taste of everlasting heaven. I just wanted to feel that warmth and pursuing further made part of me confused and confounded in my ways. I was lost in confusion because i thread into uncharted land.
It's confusing, and more confusing. What i want, can't be expressed in words. Or i cannot speak them, i cannot find them, but i can express them, in a silent way, but people need to watch... and most of the time people don't.
I feel as if i am made of nothing but impulsive logic. That itself is a paradox with weird boundaries. and i can't explain it, but it's how i feel and how i think. but i can't paint the ways i look through my eyes, i can only imagine and try to let others know.
but it feels so distant...the rest of the world....what have i become?
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