absence of mind

Talking about a nutshell of existence, sometimes i feel that its not the nutshell that is disturbing, in fact it's just perfunctory. The real disturbance (sometimes problem) is other people poking at that nutshell.

What gives?

These are times when i start to think why i'm the way i am. Don't you sometimes feel that there are these things that you do, these things that you might want to do as well and also those things that you used to do, that made you feel a little bit obscure in the public eye? Okay, public eye probably means your friends and family. But even one person is enough to make you go into a frenzy about what you do. It's those values, you know. Those are the things that make you so frustrated, but the irony is that you need them to survive. I'm not saying that they are rules. The basic needs are the supreme rules. You need food, water and shelter from the wrath of nature and situation. Everything else, your values system, the rules that you choose to follow are make-ups of what you are.

It's a choice factor. The things around you are bundles and rocks of adversity. Can you move them with your influence or bend them to your will? What does the average person notice? More importantly, what do you notice in your being that makes your time move?

Human biology moves your clock automatically. It's ultimately that clock that makes you eat, sleep and drink. Your biological clock tells you that you need food everyday, you need to drink to quench your thirst, and eventually that you will feel the pain of sickness before the dread of death. But as a constant, the biological clock's constant movement is meaningless without interaction with the outside environment. If you had food, water and sleep the same time everyday, without any need to think or effort, i'll bet time would have stopped for you. Death is mostly too far away to even contemplate for a healthy, functioning person.

But you got a curious mind. And you have plenty of people around you. Plus, that food, water and bed isn't coming from thin air. You need to work for it. And like natural disasters, social turmoil happens all of a sudden. You may have seen it coming, but still it is hard to avoid it. Somehow it will come and you will have to deal with it.

Thinking about things like this is already a chore, what if you forgot to do something about it? Wouldn't it be double the job when it actually happens?