Loss of restraint
There are times, and i cannot say it is only a few, but instead there has been quite many a time where i have been out of my sense of restraint. I know that there may be many reasons and people might think of this matter as merely trivial but i seem not being able to forgive myself for these minor incidents. Be it because of fatigue, stress or just merely overcome by the pure urge for aggrevation in any matter however minor or major in importance, i really ask for forgiveness whenever it has happened.
Seeking a sense of control and balance over my dimensions of hate and misery has been a constant conflict that has existed inside of me ever since the day my mind started to twist and turn in thoughts of life and philosophy that seem to have become my essence of being in this environment that we take as the earth. Never judge a book by its cover! I rarely discuss my loss of control to others and still i hold to that right of being able to determine who and how i wish to reveal my little actions that have lead me to think of myself as losing restraint towards myself.
Moments like today, when it did happen, I wish to apologise to a certain person where i might have gone a little overbearing with my desires and wishes. It is to the critical point of my dismay that i take upon myself this task of caging my darker thoughts, which brought on many, many good and bad moments in my life, so that they don't unleash a portion of misery towards others. Though it might be weird towards people who do not know me for myself, i tell you that my passion and stubborness has led to me having a strong drive whenever i have my mind to something. This leads to my ability to discern large amounts of focus on any task i may be undertaking, however this may also turn awry when i do any deed that brings harm towards any being.
My line of thought is from misery and hate. It is such a place which human beings loath and dispise. However, my helplesness to overcome this essense within myself does bring setbacks, but it is how i have been able to survive and push through my existence. If there is a time, when i totally lose all restraint, i truly hope that i won't bring any harm to anyone.
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