For goodness sake
For the sake of my senses, i decide to numb myself and keep some matters confined within me. For the sake of my own sanity, i decide to reside in a neutral stance for the moment, gliding between the barriers of conflicts and always riding the middle path; so that i should not be torn in the extremes of this torrent of fleeting emotions. In a sense, i have already gone mad but i have locked myself down; so not to bring hurt to others; so not to create a bigger fuss in the already torn society. I chose not to unleash what was inside, because society was not a place of comfort. Perhaps it never will be; perhaps...i am just so unlucky. i need not a society that waits in contempt for someone to expose their anxiety, and then try to use the oppurtunity to advocate a sense of caring; i need a society that already realises that the world has a desolate side to reality, and that people should actively be in motion towards trying to create a better environment for living. Basically, don't wait for things to happen, realise that things are already happening and do your best to help out.
i realise, that my cause for living is somewhat "not conformed to the norms of society". i say this because there is none, or little that actually try to be charitable and open to others. There is too much hate going around. i just wonder who started it in the first place. There is no point in me by just uttering, "it's the devil's work". Do you think it helpful? not to me. For me, it is just another excuse by mankind to express their diminishing hope and strength to deal with everyday problems. Perhaps it is a matter of will as well, for a person's will can bring a great deal of positive change; it can go a long way.
i am sad perhaps, because i feel alone in a society of selfish dictators. Everyone seems to want even more for themselves and leave nothing for someone else. i try to make a causal relationship between my feelings and my negative thoughts of life, to make sure it is not a stereotype. Is there no room left for what psychologists term as "unconditional positive regard"? This matter draws not just in the therapy setting, but also into the natural setting. How come the days of genuinity within a community have long gone? Perhaps, there is a chronological event that caused it - one unseen and merely emotional.
Did you ever ask yourself...
why do i live?
Everyone has their own answer to this question, and there is no correct answer. But i know one definite common ground to each person's answer: deep down inside, it is for the good of everyone. But...why is that good hiding there?
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