Just a fable
From the first moment that i can remember, i could never had imagined that i would be "me", such a person, such a personality and such a demeanor at this age. And i can recall, that i first dreamt of a rainbow that covered me as i slept and it would protect me as i grew up. But perhaps i have already grown up and now it's time to step into another phase, one that i exist to perform certain advents of a previously unknown nature. Even i cannot imagine myself in the future. I've found a past so bleak, at times, i cannot see the future in the lights of the optimist. Instead, i'm just taking each second as a day, and each day as a century, long and longer they grow.
My mind is such that comprehension comes from simple applications of logic and interaction. But my heart is such that emotions stirr from all my senses to the feelings of people around me. What shall become of me? I feel that i am merely a shudder of what i am to become, and just a glimpse into the things that i could do. If it is true, then i am just a construct, a prototype of something much bigger, or much worse, or much more complexed in nature. Though, am i to control the outcome? Am i to have a choice? Or has it been planned in a destiny? None of my thoughts or experiences bring me any answers...
Though i do know, and this as a child i could never imagine, that i have not much willingness of care towards myself, but giving care to another is my greatest ambition. For it was seemingly impossible that i could see another as an understanding equal, someone who would accept me and see me as a human being, one that was willing enough to have me by their side, as a friend or companion.
But what am i to do with all this hurt, with all this sorrow? I sleep with bitter anguish, and wake up in tears that i no longer have the strength nor courage to step up to the girl of my dreams. I am broke and torn apart, in pieces that i myself can only partially put back together. Or maybe...
I am just a fable...one not meant to be told.
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