Sometimes...it's just better to leave someone alone...
I wish, that the "chinese dilemna" would just friggin go away... I think that everyone knows it, the chinese are really good at economic sense. They can go anywhere and almost always thrive there as well. But the biggest problem that chinese face, especially stemming on the older generation, is the fact that we are like money making machines that don't give a shit for the other needs of humankind. The more aesthetic and emotional needs are often neglected within chinese communities. It's always been priority towards getting more money for the future and anything sacrifice of your emotional health early on in the times is just collateral damage. I don't know about anyone else, but i don't like the prospect of being just a "farm animal" in this little "farm" that we call family. Parents always want you to become doctors or lawyers or accountants. Don't you see the pattern? It always has to be those high paying jobs. Nowonder a lot of chinese kids end up becoming just materialistic and financial warmongers. Every cent counts and every seconds goes up in fire while you're trying to make money, every second you could have spent doing something more meaningful than just making those extra dollars. Having children, means having some "minions" to raise up to fulfill that "chinese dream" hanging on their hearts. Yeah, most of the time, most of us, are spending the first quarter of our lives, if not more than that, trying to fulfill mummy's and daddy's dreams. It's already been a raised issue within chinese communities since a decade ago, that the practice of "money can replace everything" just doesn't work anymore. The world is changing and money is not going to become a form of liquid that "goes with the flow". Chinese have this saying that "money is alive" and "knowledge is dead". As a consiquence, many chinese children and grandchildren end up becoming businessmen and businesswomen while sacrificing their childhood dreams - thinking that they can make up for it later in their lives. Tell me, what are the true prospects of that? You can count it up yourself. Trying to fulfill your dream can take a lifetime. You think you can spend 3/4 of your life making money and rush the process at the time you're at the brink of existence and hanging on to that walking stick or wheelchair? I don't think so...
Money may be "alive" in a sense that you can buy almost anything with it, but it makes you dead; because you get addicted to it and become a mindless zombie. Knowledge is "dead" because it's just a book or something thought of or written down; but it gives you control of your own life and how you can shape it; without knowledge you're just the next dumbass waiting for payday without anything substantial to spend the money on. You want to give up your whole life for just the next million dollars worth of money? Or would you rather satisfy your entire existence by getting your dreams granted to you? In a perfect situation, you would want both; but ask yourself: a million bucks would be a dream come true, but it's still a long wait away; but so is the chance of taking hold of your life and getting that dream coming your way, which one do you want?
I know someone is going to say money, because money is their dream: whatever. Go and become that kind of person if you want, there's nobody stopping you and i won't hate you for it. I'd do what i wish too if i were given the choice, but i refuse to become some farm animal bred for the one reason of living in servitude to that chinese monetarianism. It's sickening. It's more a culture thing than a social thing. It's all over the world. You find chinese trying to just survive everywhere they go, but they do the ultimate game plan and so conveniently charge their coming generations to follow it. I've seen some do things just because their parents want it. There's this story of a person who got his medical degree, went home and handed it to his parents. Then, he told his parents: "There, here's the degree that you've always wanted. I've done what you want and now i'm going to do what i want to do." Great, the guy just literally wasted those years that he spent pursuing what his parents wanted.
Somehow, chinese parents always have this plan for their kids. They say that my son's going to be a doctor or my daughter is going to be a lawyer or whatever. Then they have this so-greatly-planned thing for their kids, all the way until their graduation. They have all their savings started, insurance plans set out, loans granted, schools searched out and everything you could do to ensure your child's educational welfare. Well it's all good, but there's just one minor problem: what does your kid want to do? Fine, you deprive him from all the other unrelated stuff in life and he ends up becoming the person who knows nothing else but that. Then later in life, you tell him that he needs to learn to socialize more because he's been such a bookworm and never goes out with his friends. Uh-huh, well who started it in the first place? Ta-dah! You did! You were the ones who said "go study", "go revise your work", "no time for play now" and "you have to do well in your exams, or else...". What else is there to it? You're forcing your child to be just concerned with the crap that comes out in the exams and just study their @sses off so that you don't beat the crap our of them or ground them for the rest of their lives. Then when they try to speak up against what you're saying, you say "that's the way it is!" or "do as you're told" or "don't be rude to us, we're your parents" or "we know what's best for you" or "study is more important, go study now, no argument" and just make them shut-up. To make things worse, parents more than often underestimate their children's understanding, always belittling their abilities to comprehend matters. That like inducing learned helplesness. That plus the conditioning that the children go through, is it surprising that kids turn out to be very quite and oppressed within the workplace or learning environment? Is it surprising that many don't know how to think for themselves?
I don't really see the point to think negative psychology that chinese culture normally uses. It's like building a nutshell that wasn't there anyway and having your child to try and break out of it by his or her own means. Plus, the oh-so-much support that you give and the overbearing feedback of comments that come their way, it's like placing reinforced steel around that already hard-to-crack NUT! Then, when the nutshell finally begins to crack, you say that their starting to rebel against you. You say that we're being rude and stuff, always acting up and saying we want our own ways. Of course, we're just learning from what you've been teaching us. We're mimicking the ways that you've been dealing with us, because there doesn't seem to be any other way to get into those thick-ignorant skull's of yours'. We've just inherited whatever you've taught us, thinking that it's the right thing to do. Why? Because you've never actually explained to us the reason behind the way you've treated us. So we don't know that when we start to grow up, we should be acting in another, more proper fashion. So please excuse us for exploring the nearest-possible-possibility for us to act like grown ups. We're trying so hard to break out of this nutshell that you've built and rebuilt and then reinforced around us, and now you're trying to delay that outburst. Probably it's like the effect of boiling soup in a pressure cooker and we'll just blow one day and you'll be so shocked to see us in full bloom. So please, maybe if you'd try to understand us a little more, you'd not get so surprised and get a heart attack!
There's so many drawbacks to all this negative psychology that the chinese have embedded within their culture. I'm not saying that everyone uses it, but the average-chinese-authoritarian-style-family-relationship kind of families utilize it to its so glorious full extent. I thinkk most of the things that we ask gets replied by a direct "no" and those things that get a direct "yes" definitely-almost-always are related to studies. Are academic results that important? Then why the heck you ask us to go socialize more? Isn't that like counterintuitive? We should be spending more time digging deeper holes inside our text books, right? Let's all go and become true blue bookworms! In the extremes, kids turn out to becoming gansters that just are the ultimate rebels of the family. You get cast out from your family because you started involving in some gang that does every kind of bad shit your parents would obviously say "no" to. Maybe you're just tired of getting "no" for an answer, so you're trying to force your parents to give you a "yes" for a change? You do realize, that people don't just turn in to gangs the moment they're born. It's a process of change, unless of course your family was a gang mob in the first place. But, i don't think from a goody-two-shoes family you'd straight away become some gang leader somewhere in downtown. It's absolutely ridiculous. I think it just starts by having no sense of recognition in the family, and when you finally get into a gang, there's this sense of brotherhood and you like it there. You don't want to leave because the gang provides you with that sense of brotherhood, while your family couldn't. As if your parents hated your guts out since the day you were born. No way, it doesn't happen like that. You go through all of these insults and belittlements from your parents before you just can't take it anymore. It's just as if everything that you do and everything that you've tried just doesn't work. You just don't feel like their son or daughther. It's like they're just taking care of you out of courtesy, like you're an adopted child or something. I don't think that would feel nice at all. Maybe that's why, friends are more of family that anyone else.
It's an epidemic! You just don't feel at home. Whatever you do seems to be wrong. Everyday is a bad day. You wish that life would just come to an end. You just want to be left alone. You just wish it would all stop. You wish you had your own life returned back to you. You just want it all. I wonder if we're all living deprived childhoods. It's so sick to think that you may be stuck in this type of shit till the end of your living existence. And maybe all your children too. We'll all never stop suffering. Shit...
I wish that things will change, and this generation does make a difference. Or what are we gonna be? In Limbo?
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