Worries....

I think i have been scarred for life in the case of attachment. Attachment meaning sort of everything. My friend asked me how many primary schools i attended. i answered him 4. I've been moving around a lot. A lot means more often than the average person would. There's this problem that comes with moving, especially if you're a kid. You make friends, some that would have lasted a long, long time. But then suddenly, you just have to move away. Goodbye to your friends. Goodbye to everything that mattered in that place. Because, its not like going away to celebrate and coming back soon after. Its really moving away. That part wrecks havoc, because you are never going to see them again.

I moved 3 times, all to different places before the age of 10. See, i lived in Perak, somewhere around Ipoh. Then i moved away when i was 6 1/2. I never saw those people again, not for a very long time. When i did see them, it was already too long, and i was too young to really remember the people that i had grew up with over there. This happened again, and again, over the next 3 years. I think somehow that hotwired me to be afraid of friends. Because someday i might just lose them. And you know how adolescence brings to light all this bullshit that could happen in the world. Well, that added into the mix as well. So now i worry, i really worry.

I've had this situation. I sms someone and i get hung on waiting for that person to sms me back. Even if it takes hours, my whole brain just seems stuck there on that moment. Just waiting...and in the end worrying. I hate it. Its like a prefix and i feel damn lousy because of this shit.

Now, probably its toned down already. But i still get it. And those nightmarish memories that come with it. I don't want to go through hell again.